Category: Life


I’ve lived in well over thirty homes. Most of those were houses, but a few were apartments or townhomes. When I was a kid I didn’t go to the same school for more than a year in a row until tenth grade. I learned to make friends quickly, and now that’s a skill that I take with me to each new place I go. People are mostly the same. In some places, like the South, people are more outgoing and openly friendly, and in the West they are more genuine than other places I’ve been, but at the core everyone wants people to love, a few good friends, and a comfortable and safe home. A smile is the one thing that connects in every language and every culture.

I think I’m settled in the West now. I may live a few months here and there, but I’ll keep my permanent home in the West. It’s tougher here. Life doesn’t come as easily as it does in other places. Life is fragile, and that creates alertness to everything I haven’t always known. The West is beautiful, but so is the East Coast, but the beauty is noticed here I think due to the fragileness of it all. I told a friend recently that Colorado is designed to kill you … but in a fun way.

Death doesn’t scare me because I expect a journey after my time here. There’s more. There’s always more, and I believe that a good smile should work on the next journey the same as here.


Rocky Mountains -

Literature Instead of News

I have to watch the news with my finger on the channel button. Mute used to work, but my boys have long since learned to read the scrolling text at the bottom of the screen. Now I have to change the channel. Keeping up with the news was once an act of valor. Often it provided little more than conversation starters, while also a sign that you were communicating with the well-read. Now the news is a step above the rags that line grocery store shelves, and the line between the two is blurred. They love the sex and violence that sells commercials. I turn away from it more and more.

All the truths I need are in literature. Humans don’t change, even when the world around them does. We know more, and I think we try more – some of us anyway, but greed will always exist. So will the desire to subdue another for our own gain. It’s the animal in us, given intellect, which is skewed. The story seems to be the only place that makes sense of this. It’s where we learn that there is hope.

Hope. There’s always hope. We are here to learn, not to become perfect. Some of us figure it out sooner than others. I told my kid yesterday that the saying “only the good die young” will make more sense to him the longer he lives. It appears to be true too often.

Fishing Zen

Fishing with KidsA few years ago I took my oldest son trout fishing. I took out my fly rod, but soon found that I was spending most of the time untangling his Buzz Lightyear fishing pole. After a time he grew bored with waiting for the fish that were not coming, and wandered to a sandy area. He was five, and drawn to the simplicity of sand and rocks, to the rhythmic movement of the water.

While I cast into the water not far from him he watched the ripples like a protective parent. He threw sand into the water that created art that lasted less than a second. Occasionally he threw larger rocks into the water, ensuring that my casting that day was only practice.

When I fish I don’t go just to catch fish. I go to be in that place. Fishing is the perfect Zen experience, but without the effort of learning from a Zen master. It comes naturally in natural places. Walk one hundred feet, to a bend, and you disappear into a world that seems little changed from a thousand years before.

I’m not a great fisherman, but I’m great at getting lost on the water. This is a thing I won’t have to teach my son, but I will have to teach him how not to forget. We’ve created perfect worlds that destroy our ability to connect to the outdoors in the same way we destroy the outdoors itself. Children would never do what we have done.

Be Brave Enough to Be You

Like Kerouac I’m drawn to those brave enough to be themselves. Few have the courage to wear what they want, say what they want, be who they are. It’s easy to follow the crowd, and to do what others say and do, but do you have the self-confidence – the courage – the be an outlier?  I don’t mean mad of mind. No, intelligence usually comes with those I’m drawn to, the ability to see clear answers, and to know when the answers are not clear, but still find ways to make things work.

If you looked at my closest friends it would be difficult to see what they have in common, but I think it might be intelligence, or creativity, that links them. I’ve never considered myself to be intelligent, but I’ve surrounded myself with people who are better than me, smarter than me, more creative, and that has made the difference. They have challenged me.


I didn’t sleep well in the hotel. It was quiet, clean, had big soft pillows, but I didn’t sleep well. When I was awake at midnight I considered that I was getting too old to sleep in strange places, but then I remembered that I never slept well the first night or two in a new hotel.

I love camping, but I usually don’t sleep well on the ground the first night back in a tent. It’s usually too hot, too cold, or I find that I’m sleeping with my head downhill. The extra blood should be good for a brain, but it doesn’t help one sleep better. Small pebbles become boulders if positioned in the wrong place under one’s back.

My dog can sleep anywhere, and he can sleep all day while I work, always near my feet. I keep a heater going in my office during the winter. No point in heating the entire house when it’s just me and the animals. It’s cozy near the heater, and dogs know how to take advantage of cozy places to sleep. Humans are not as good at this. I can’t take naps during the day. There’s always something important to do.


I know more now than I did before. I suppose that’s true for all of us, at least the ones who are trying. Maybe you learn even if you’re not trying. Life has a way of pushing lessons on us, even when we don’t want them. It seems like the powerful and wealthy don’t learn, another reason to stop electing the powerful and wealthy. We really are smarter than them.

I inherited a bit of common sense from my father and my uncles, all were graduates from Ivy League universities of hard knocks. They were ready for life by 18 – maybe 13 – while it took me much longer. The generation now is still struggling at 30. Life is easy for most these days, and, like the wealthy, easy lives flame a lack of learning.

I can’t generalize much more than that. I was still figuring it out well into my twenties. I spent my thirties apologizing for my twenties. There’s value to wasted years. It’s a learning tool. As I said before, life has a way of pushing lessons on us, even if we’re trying to avoid those lessons.

I’ll keep learning, and I suspect I’ll disagree with some – maybe all – of the words I write today. I have a theory that the moment we figure it all out we die, so there’s a reason for holding onto bits of ignorance.